Forgotten Retro Accessories: Hats

Greetings Housewives! Lucy here with a thought that has been nagging for quite some time: What happened to hats? Now, don’t go getting ahead of me. Ethel and I are plenty familiar with winter necessities. Wehappen to live in a nondescript northern location where this is a familiar picture about this time of year:

So of course I am referring to the lost art of extreme accessorizing. Not so long ago, it was customary to leave the house not only dressed to the nines but also accompanied by your matching hat. Adorned in birdcage netting, feathers, brooches, hatpins and bows, these frothy and functional concoctions used to be absolutely necessity in every housewife’s wardrobe. And why was that? Well for one thing, they up your gumption level by several thousand points:

Casablanca....the ultimate cinematic use of the hat

Casablanca….the ultimate cinematic use of the hat

Not only do hats allow you to look fabulous, they provide many functions. They shade your lovely face from the sun and cool you during hot weather, they keep you warm during cool weather, and they keep your beautiful retro locks from being blown about by strong breeze. I know what you are thinking now; “Lucy is nuts, don’t hats give you (dun dun DUN) HAT HAIR?” Well lovelies, a properly worn hat should not mess with your tresses. What’s more, these hats were made to accentuate, not eliminate curls and coifs. And how else can you combat a true bad hair day than by putting a cute hat on top?

All of these and more are the reasons why I am proposing a radical suggestion: Let’s all start wearing hats again. Seriously, what better compliment to your Sunday best than the perfect bonnet? Hats make us look like we thought about what to put on today. We matched our accessories to our clothes and we care that you noticed. Plus, we look sassy, sophisticated, and full of…yup, GUMPTION! Besides, hats are as fun to collect as handbags. There are so many varieties!

Beautiful!

Beautiful!

SO housewives, I propose that we move fashion forward. Let’s add hats to our wardrobe. Let’s make people who leave the house in pajamas feel under dressed. Because this is NOT OK.

No thank you

No thank you

We are beautiful and we deserve to look lovely always. Somehow I think that starts with hats.

Audrey loves hats!

Audrey loves hats!

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